Category Archives: Grammar

Lyrics Part 2

I honestly did not think I was going to grade any more lyrics, but then I remembered the song “Story of My Life,” by One Direction.  So yeah, I had to do it.  This time I did it in image format so it’ll be easier to see.  But my handwriting is just as awful as ever.  Enjoy!





So that’s that.  I think I’m done grading lyrics now.  The joke’s probably already old.  But I got that off my chest.  Also as a gift to my friend, Micah, I made a new elemental chinchilla.  Because Micah has been helping me out with a project I’m desperate to get right, and he deserves a fire chinchilla if he wants a fire chinchilla.  Here it is.  (see the last post if you’re confused)

Fire Chinchilla

If you’re wondering what this post has to do with writing, then keep wondering!

Sorry, that was rude.  I’m working on a thing (mentioned above) but I don’t want to share anything right now.  I’ll write about writing again soon.  Maybe there will be another chinchilla to go with it for some reason.


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I am Orangutan

It’s finally reached the breaking point, boiling over, filling me with rage.  I want to shout it loud and clear: YOU CANNOT BE OCD!!!  Not possible.  OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a NOUN.  That is like saying “I am apple” or “I am orangutan.”  It doesn’t work!  Unless, of course, you are an orangutan who has mastered the basics of English but still stumbles over little things like articles, in which case I applaud you, Sir Ape.  Congratulations on achieving something so monumental.  Surely you are the envy of your ape peers.

Furthermore, if you say you are obsessive compulsive (which is the right way to say that, if not “I have OCD.”) then you are probably still wrong.  Let me break it down: Obsessions are the thoughts.  The ones you can’t get rid of.  They invade your brain, leaving room for nothing else.  The only way you can stop them is if you do something.  And that is where the compulsion part comes in.  A compulsion is a thing you do to help drive out the obsessive thought.  For example, there was once a man who had to drive over a single speed bump on his way to work every morning.  And every time he drove over that speed bump, he had the same obsessive, invasive thought: What if that was a person I just ran over?  He thought about it so much that he had to turn and go around the block again just to double check that it was a speed bump and not a person.  This would be an obsession followed by a compulsion.  Even worse, as soon as he went over the bump again, he had the same thought: Was it a person?  He would go back over that same speed bump so many times that it made him late for work.  In the end, he began waking up earlier in the morning just so he could accommodate this hour-long, obsessive-compulsive delay and still arrive to work on time.

That, my friends, is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

It is not:

Wanting to finish eating your hamburger before starting on your fries.

Wanting all your pencils to be sharp.

Cleaning your room regularly.

Watching every episode of a show in order.

FURTHERMORE, it is definitely not a disorder unless it meets the three D’s: Deviant, Dysfunction, Distressful.

In other words, if it doesn’t fuck up your life in a major way, it’s not a disorder.

So stop abusing OCD.  People who really have it will thank you.  People who don’t have it should be glad they don’t spend six hours a week driving over the same speed bump.  I don’t care if you can only listen to Britney Spears music while wearing pink socks.  That might make you weird, but it doesn’t give you the right to self-diagnose with a serious disorder.

In other news, I’d like to take a quick second to thank everyone who has supported my blog this far.  I recently surpassed 200 followers, which doesn’t seem like a lot, but it is to me because I started this thing with zero.  And I don’t really do a lot of self promotion, or comment regularly on other blogs, so 200 is a big accomplishment for me.  So thank you.  And please excuse the rant.



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Fun Things

I am on an editing binge.  Can one binge on editing?  I am.

Luckily for you, I just finished rereading Hellbound for the 100th time, and I need a quick break before I dive in for another go.  That means you get another blog post from me!  By the way, a lot of people are new here, which means you might not know anything about Hellbound.  Oh no!  Don’t worry, you can check out this post and this one for a sneak preview.  The book no longer reads anything like that, of course, due to major editing.  You’ll have to take my word for it, but the prologue isn’t nearly so contrived and…I don’t know… kitschy anymore.  I’d post the new version but I don’t know if editors would like me doing that, so…sorry.  You’ll still get an idea of the premise and my writing style.  (Please forgive any typos or errors you find!  By now I have almost definitely caught and fixed them!)

Oh, one more link.  You can find out all about Hellbound (the premise, the reviews from the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, etc.) on my website.  Click here for easy access to that page.

On to fun thing number two: This article about Grammar and our misconceptions about it.  Thanks to my mother for sending that one my way.  Do read it.  It’s definitely interesting for grammar nuts and it even relates back to one of my earlier posts.

Don’t hate me for pushing all these links on you.  I do it out of love.

More links

Fun thing number three!  During this editing binge of mine, I have found myself sitting for long periods of time with my eyes glued to a computer screen.  If you don’t find yourself particularly amenable to this idea, well…neither am I.  So here’s my advice to you: Buy a hula hoop and/or a jumprope.  I bought myself a hula hoop just the other day, and it has been a lifesaver.  Though it did lead to me feeling super embarrassed in front of the saleslady at the toy store.  She, of course, asked me if it was an Easter present for someone (read: some child under the age of eight).  I could have told her it was for me.  But that would have been honest and also embarrassing.  So I awkwardly grunted the response, “Passover.”  To which she said, “Oh, I’m sorry.  I just don’t know much about that.”  And I told her, “It’s okay.  Passover isn’t usually a holiday that you buy presents for, but I have young cousins.”  Which was all technically true.

hula hoop

The reason I recommend children’s toys is, well…they’re toys.  They are meant to be fun and distracting.  The best thing about hula hoops and jump ropes is that they are toys that make you exercise a bit.  This helps get the blood flowing, is a healthier choice than sitting for hours without moving, and best of all they require just enough concentration to not allow you to think about writing for a few blissful moments!  Boy that was a long sentence!

Fun thing number four!  Some numbers!  Word count, to be more specific.  I am going to give you three word counts.  The first is from one of my very first drafts of Hellbound.  The second is from a major editing session I did right before my agent sent my book out to editors.  The third is from what I finished doing just now, at the request of a person.  (I really can’t disclose that much about what’s going on right now.)  Anyway, here they are:

First draft: 55,874 words

Second draft: 70,485 words

Third draft: 83,624 words

The reason I’m telling you about these is because of the stigma that is associated with editing.  The word “editing” calls to mind (for me at least) the idea of cutting the book down, making it shorter, etc.  But, as you can see, years of “editing” Hellbound have caused the book to expand.  It added nearly 30,000 words, in fact.  That’s about forty-five pages on Word, single spaced, give or take (I skip to a new page every time I start a new chapter, so there is some amount of blank space there).  Nifty, huh?

Okay, now I am done.

OH!  I forgot to add one last fun thing.  I will put it in as my comic for today, as it is sort of a comic.  I was talking with a friend about how much you grow to hate your own books and I drew a graph depicting that:

Book Enjoyment Graph(2)

I told my friend that I was somewhere at the lower end of the enjoyment scale, but he just laughed and said “You wish,” and then told me I was somewhere just to the right of the peak.  Siiiigh.  Such is my life.

Word of the Day: Amenable (adj) – ready or willing to answer, act, agree, or yield; open to influence, persuasion, or advice; agreeable; submissive; tractable

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