So I drew a mermaid. And that is all this post is going to be about.
A little context:
1. Somewhat recently I drove from New York to North Dakota to Texas, so I had a lot of time to think.
2. One of the things I thought about was mermaids. I don’t know why. But I do know that I always struggled with the concept of the archetypal mermaid (think Disney’s version) because of, um…sex reasons. Like…fish reproduce outside their bodies, but human beings don’t. Mermaids have breasts and uteri (never thought I’d need the plural of that word), but no um…vaginas. So…you know, how does giving birth work?
2.5 While we’re on the subject! They have knees! Like even though their lower halves are cartilaginous and fish have no knees, animators and artists always put mermaids in sitting positions where their fins are bent like there’s a knee in there. As long as people do that, mermaids are always going to look like human women who put on half a fish costume and tried to pretend they were mythological beings.
3. Yes, this absolutely needed to be in list form.
4. No, I don’t expect a cartoon for children to explore mer-vaginas and how they work. We can leave that to romance novels like this one, written by P. C. Cast.
4.5 Please don’t ask why I know about this book. Please.
4.75 Cartoons for children can explore mer-knees if they really want to.
5. I started to try to come up with a concept that would work by merging fish and woman and also allowing for more mammalian reproduction.
5.5 Look, I’m not obsessed with mermaids or mermaid sex, okay? I don’t even know why it bothered me so much. Probably because it was a really freakin’ long road trip.
6. Obviously, I drew my concept. I waited until I was settled in my new home.
7. What I came up with looks a little like Mystique from X-Men. Whoops.
8. First, just a rough sketch on paper:
9. Then I filled in the blanks with Photoshop Elements.
10. That’s uh…that’s it. The above mermaid can have sex and give birth. And she has knees!
11. Wooo mermaid sex!
12. Sorry for the partial nudity. NSFW maybe?
12.5 I probably should have done the whole NSFW warning earlier.
12.75 Too late for that now. The list is set in stone. It is unchangeable.
13. Okay, I’m done now. I swear.