A Game

Let’s play a game called “My life was awesome, then it was shitty.”

The rules are simple.  First I’m going to tell you about how my life was awesome, and then I’m going to tell you how it abruptly turned shitty.  Your role is to respectively envy and pity me.  Then we all go home feeling mildly disappointed.  The number of people who enjoy this game is exactly zero.

Ready?

Okay.  So on Sunday the fiance and I went to see Lorde perform live.

It.

Was.

Amazing!

She had her own personalized confetti!

She had her own personalized confetti!

She is not even eighteen years old yet, but she is a captivating performer.  You can tell she really, truly enjoys it, too.  She also did two quick-changes for just one short concert.  Her performance of “Royals” was out of this world.  She is going places.  Awesome places.

Now for the second part:

On Monday I went in to work a lunch shift.  (For those who don’t know: I am a waitress.)  At the end of my very short shift, I went to grab my purse and put my tip money into my wallet only to find that, well…my purse was half unzipped (Odd because I always zip it up 100%) and my wallet was nowhere to be found.

There was between 100 and 200 dollars in that wallet.  As well as a credit card, a debit card, and my health insurance cards.

Gone.

Needless to say…I was not happy.  I called the police, and then I set about cancelling my cards and doing all the other annoying things you have to do when your wallet gets stolen.

The policeman looked exactly like you’d expect a policeman to look.  He was youngish, white, had a strong jaw and a buzzcut.  He stood with his arms not quite rested at his sides like he was ready for action at any second.  But for all that readiness, there wasn’t actually much he could do for me.  He did ask me if I thought someone I worked with could have committed the crime.

My answer was a resolute “No.”

Yesterday my wallet appeared again.

In the kitchen.

Without any cash in it.

You know…in the kitchen.  Where only employees go.

I am happy and relieved to have my driver’s license and all my cards back.  Unfortunately my credit and debit cards remain useless, but that’s okay.

What’s not okay is that someone I work with stole from me.  You might even call it shitty.

Thus ends the game.  I have nothing else to report…OH!  Right.  There were some signed signature cards in my wallet as well.  Really happy to get those back.  Here’s an updated count:

Cards

45!!!  That’s great!

Radar + Cards

Radar and I are both very happy with this outcome.

Remember it’s never too late to join in the fun!  The more the merrier!  It’s easy and free!  Look at how happy you’ll make my dog!  There will still be prizes for writing in to get a card.  Read all about it by clicking “signed signature cards” above or clicking right here.

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Filed under Humor, writing

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