How Aging Works

I’ve been thinking a lot about aging and immortality.  Mainly because Twilight has remained a part of my life in the best way possible – through the people who have been making fun of it.  For instance, there is a channel on YouTube that I highly recommend you check out.  It’s called CinemaSins, and they do a segment entitled Everything Wrong With_______.  In the EWW videos, they point out everything wrong with a movie (as if you couldn’t figure that out).  From consistency errors to poor writing to other stuff, all with a humorous overtone, so you know…you don’t get too offended if they say a movie you like has 73 sins.  And they just came out with a new video, which I watched yesterday.  I’ll embed it here for you:

So the first thing I noticed was that the narrator didn’t understand that Edward’s appearing to Bella in times of danger was not one of Edward’s many superpowers, but rather a new power of Bella’s – hallucinating her ex in times of danger.  This was hilarious to me.  Don’t know why.  Guess it’s just because nobody could really fathom the levels of crazy that book went to.  But what I really wanted to talk about was a thought inspired by 00:44 in the video.  “Wow.  Maybe I shouldn’t be dating such an old man,” says Bella.  To which the EWW narrator replies, “Ya think?!”

Now, I am guilty of this in my writing.  I even blogged about immortality before without bringing up this particular point, so I wanted to clear something up:  No matter how you spin it, an 109-year-old is an 109-year-old.  If your body stops aging at seventeen, your brain may stop developing in the traditional ways, but it will just find some non-traditional ways.  Eventually you’re going to stop acting like a teenager.  It’s just going to happen.  And I say I’m guilty of this because I am.  My character, Aiden, is three-hundred and um…seventy…sixty…….He’s um…

Hold on…

*looks back through own book*

Three-hundred and seventy-six!  There we go.  I forgot.

Anyway, the point is that he still acts like an eighteen-year-old and I want to be the first to say that that is bullshit, pardon my language.  It’s in my book because I wrote it at a time before I’d given this immortality stuff any proper thought, and after I’d given it proper thought it was too late to change the entire book.  Plus, I don’t know if I would have.  I think there’s a certain level of suspension of disbelief that contributes to the enjoyment of paranormal romance type novels, and I think that it is that suspended disbelief that allows us to buy that a 376-year-old could ever act like a teenager.  It’s something I rely on, in fact.  But at the same time I’m telling you it’s BS.  Because it is.  And I felt like being honest.  Speaking of honest, I’m sure I wanted to make a point somewhere in here, but I’ve honestly forgotten what it is.

Ummm…hey look at this stuff I made for my Etsy shop! [EDIT 1/12/15: My Etsy shop has been closed but I’m leaving these pictures up because I’m a showoff.]

Abstract 5


Conch 1

Round Shell 2

Thanks for reading!


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Filed under books, Humor, writing

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