An Open Blog Post for Editors

I had dinner with an author a few weeks ago.  I will not reveal the identity of this author, for the sake of his/her privacy, but it definitely happened.  And she/he told me stories about people who struggled for ten years before they got published.  This puts my own one-year struggle into perspective, naturally, but I can’t stop myself from having just a tiny pity party.  Lots and lots of rejection is hard to take.  As such, I decided to write a little pick-me-up blog post.  It’s a list of reasons why I think editors should pick up my book and run with it.  No editor will ever read it, but I don’t care, because I am writing this for the purpose of boosting my own morale, not actually convincing editors of anything.

1. I am my competitors’ biggest fan – Part of being a good writer is knowing what makes a good book.  And I know what makes a good book because I have read good books.  John Green, Tamora Pierce, Melissa Marr, Jennifer Lynn Barnes, Ned Vizzini.  I love them.  They are the people who make publishing my book that much harder and they are the people who have inspired the very best ideas that I have put to paper.  I read the books I’m trying to write, and I write the books I’d like to read.

2. My books are both similar and different – They are similar enough to what’s already been published to guarantee a sizable market, while remaining different enough from everyone else’s stuff to stand alone and be memorable.

3. I will do whatever it takes to promote myself – If you tell me that I need to visit fifty states in fifty-two days to do book signings and readings, I will respond with, “Get me a half a jar of peanut butter and an IV drip of caffeine and we’ll be all set.”  I want to do this.  I would legitimately enjoy it.  Nothing is too much when it comes to promoting my books and myself as an author.

Sleep Deprived

4. I am in my early twenties – At the moment, I am no more than nine or ten years older than the youngest person in my target demographic.  Even better, I am the same age as many of the people who are in my target demographic.  Even better again, I wrote most of my books when I was even younger than I am now.  I think you can see where I’m going with this.  Also, not to use my competitors’ age against them, but I have a lot of life left in me.  A lot more books to pump out before my inevitable psychological breakdown at age sixty-three.

Haunting Words

ALSO…

5. I have a lot of books in me – I have written tons of books already.  Like at least six.  Two of them are even good.  A third is good enough to merit a second rewrite in as many years.  That is how much I care for that story.  I care for all my stories, but mainly just the good ones.  Some of the books I wrote or attempted to write were, let’s face it, terrible.  But isn’t that something?  That I can identify when my own writing isn’t up to snuff?

6. I do more than write – You don’t have to read my whole blog from start to finish.  In fact, please don’t (my first few posts were really dumb).  But if you just flip through the last twenty posts or so you will notice some things.  I draw, I cartoon, and I animate.  I make little glass things that don’t sell because I only have a couple dozen Facebook friends.  I also blog, which is definitely different from writing novels.  I have no idea what this means except that I’m multifaceted, I guess.  Who knows when you’ll need a blogging/cartooning/animating/flameworking author in your repertoire?  It might come in handy.

Just look at how cute Mini Bex is!

Selling Point

Alright I’m done.  Sorry about that self-serving ego-fest.

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Filed under books, Humor, writing

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