I have…so much to say. I should never have gotten a life (read: a job) knowing I have a blog in which I will want to post every last thought (and drawing) that comes to my mind. Also, it’s 2:10 AM Pacific time. So if, you know…I make no sense and my writing is full of mistakes…yeah, that’s why. So despite my exhaustion, I’m going to try really hard to be quick and concise, with less text and more fun drawings. Oh also, I just realized I have no energy to draw right now (I barely have the ability to make words happen on this screen) so this is probably going to be posted at a reasonable hour, after I’ve had a chance to draw. So just know…this was written at an ungodly time. It will be posted at a more godly hour. Which is…I don’t know like…2:34 PM? That sounds like a godly hour.
Ok, so as the title of this post suggests, I’m going to revisit two older topics and expand upon them. First! A political cartoon. I drew this on a white board while I was in a Sociology class in London, and I decided to recreate it here for you:
Ladies and gentlemen, my grasp of politics.
Right, number ONE!
How to start a novel. I wrote about this waaaaay back when I was a really bad writer. Here’s what I want to say about that:
You need to hook your reader in. How you start your novel is your own choice, but you should be aware that A) The opening line will probably change, at least once, before your project is complete and B) You should try to read that opening line through the eyes of someone who knows nothing about your book. They haven’t even read the synopsis on the back, the lazy fucks. And now they want you to impress them, despite their goldfish attention spans.
So, SELL IT! Bounce ideas off of friends and family. And, referring back to point A, don’t worry too much about it until you’ve written a significant portion of your book, if not all of it. Just slap something down to start with, go from there, and then go back to it. That’s my advice. One of the books I’m currently reading for work has a great opening line, which is what made me think of this topic. Obviously I can’t tell you what the line was, but I can tell you it was a direct address to the reader. Which is pretty much what I do in this blog. Like, “You really need to try to avoid stepping on scorpions.”
To finish up, I have started writing a third draft of my newest book tonight. Each draft has its own opening sentence, and I like the current one the best. Here they are:
Draft 1 – The top half of the notepad slipped out of my hand and slapped me in the face, refusing to be bent back, out of my way.
Draft 2 – Dear Ms. Kramer,
You think you know how to tie a necktie, but you are wrong!
Draft 3 – I know Deaf. I live Deaf.
Just a quick heads-up: my main character isn’t Deaf. Ooo, intrigue.
Yep, this has already gone too long. I have to keep my readers’ goldfish attention spans in mind, too, you know.
Well…I have to keep my goldfish attention span in mind. Frankly, I know that if I can’t hold my own attention for the duration of a blog post, I probably won’t be able to hold anyone else’s either.
Gonna start the companion post to this one right now. Look forward to a more extensive look at Showing and not Telling AND, I think, a Behind-the-Scenes Page that will be going up soon.
Word of the Day: Commence (v) – to begin; start
P.S. Wow, it’s 2:52. I came pretty damn close to my prediction. I guess 2:52 is more godly than 2:34.