You Look Pretty Today

I’ve decided I want to start a trend, and I can’t think of a better way to spread it than this.

You know how you get all dressed up one day because you have an event later, or you just felt like looking nice, or your mom made you?  Have you ever had someone say, “You look nice/pretty/handsome/splendid/attractive today?”  (If anyone said the last two to you, then they are probably creepers.  You should stay away from them)

I don’t know if it annoys you when that happens, but it does bother me.  Being an English major, I tend to analyze language almost religiously.  So here’s what “You look pretty today” means once it’s been analyzed: “Today you look good.  You never look good any other day.”  Now, 9 times out of 10 (I’d like to say 10 times out of 10, but you can never be sure), people aren’t trying to insult you when they say that.  What they’re trying to say is that they’ve noticed you’re looking extra special and they want to compliment you on your temporarily heightened good looks.

So here’s the trend I want to start: When someone looks especially pretty/handsome, tell them, “You look extra pretty/handsome today.”  That way your compliment will be 100% genuine, with no accidentally implied insult.  What you’re saying is, “Usually you look good, but today your good looks have been emphasized, and I’ve taken notice.”  Please start doing this.  I think it’d be awesome if I could change the world.

Note: If you totally meant to insult that person because they stole your girlfriend and then glued a picture of their butt onto your computer screen, but you can’t insult them outright because they’re the boss’ kid and they can get you fired, so you have to stick to backhanded insults that sound like compliments, then go ahead and disregard this post.  Or just use the “extra pretty” line with people you genuinely like.

Word of the Day: Implication (n) – something implied or suggested as naturally to be inferred or understood.

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Filed under Humor, Language

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